Why are waiting rooms so awful

Alan Cleaver is on a mission - to come up with a nice waiting room! And he needs your help.

What every waiting room in the world looks like. Picture by Perfecto Insecto (CC)

I SPENT two hours in the waiting room of West Cumbria Hospital's A&E Department on Sunday morning. Yes, the staff were wonderful. Yes, the service was excellent. But oh my goodness - that boring, depressing, mind-numbing nightmare that is the waiting room.

Of course, it's the same as every other hospital, doctors and dentists' waiting room in the world. Why are we still unable to design, build and decorate a waiting room that is warm, bright, welcoming - and just plain nice.

The negativity at West Cumberland starts before you even get through the door. A notice threatens: don't even think of coming in here if you are ill with flu! And what's the next thing you see inside the doorway? A cardboard cutout of a policeman threatening to put you in jail if you put one foot wrong. Good grief. I'm just ill and want to get better!

Inside But in case there was any semblance of good health or positive thinking left inside you, the posters in the waiting room will drive it out of you. I made a list of the posters in the waiting room and, in brackets, the number of posters on that subject:

Your kids are going to have a horrible accident and it will probably be your fault (6)
If you smoke or go anywhere near anyone who smokes you're going to die a horrible death from cancer (6)
The person sitting next to you is going to start beating up the nurses, hospital staff and perhaps you (9)
Thinking of have a glass of wine or a beer with your mates tonight? Think again. Your irresponsible drinking is going to land you in jail (2)
Your house is going to burn down, killing you and everyone in the house (2)
You're going to catch swine flu or some other horrible lurgy(3)
You're going to beaten up by that loving husband/wife (2)
You're going to get dementia in your old age (1)
You're going to freeze to death this winter (1)
If you take heroin, the anthrax in it is going to kill you (1)
Thinking of going on holiday? Forget it, you're going to catch bird flu (1)

And just to add to your state of fear, there's even a notice warning you that every move you make is being monitored on CCTV.

There were 38 posters in total shouting this diet of misery and fear - but only seating for about 12 people. That's three and a bit posters each.

I'm not just getting at West Cumberland Hospital. A quick surf of the web shows me that all waiting rooms in the world are like this - and all universally hated. Surely, it doesn't have to be this way? Can't we design and decorate just one waiting room in a way that's welcoming? Post your ideas below please.

Pictures of typical waiting rooms - they are all awful aren't they!

And a gallery of pictures that could easily cheer-up waiting rooms