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Wednesday, 23 July 2014

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Bosoms are back – not that they ever went away!

NEWS Alert! Bosoms are back. This season it is on-trend to wear your assets loud and proud à la Christina Hendricks from the hit series Mad Men.

Even for us women whose usual attitude towards boobs is ‘you’ve seen one set, you’ve seen ‘em all’, it is difficult to take your eyes off her figure.

In the Hollywood world of protruding ribs, Ms Hendrick’s fleshy curves make her seem like an alien who has wandered on set.

It is a weary battle women continue to fight regarding shape. Damned if you’re built like a pear, damned if you have a pair, we are made to feel inadequate for something we can’t ultimately control.

We can eat healthily and exercise, but if you are a AA or a EE cup, it is probably something you just need to get on with and accept.

Some clothes look great on full-chested women, others look better if you are as flat as a board. As Gok preaches, it is simply a matter of dressing for your shape.

Women would all feel better if we spent more time looking for gorgeous accessories and less time caring whether we have an in-season look.

In my own survey of straight males, 100 per cent were baffled to discover bosoms actually go out of fashion. “When would we ever get bored with them?’’ one said.

This is one of the reasons the opinion of blokes is rarely taken seriously by fashionistas. These men do not like women looking odd or quirky. They do not want you to ‘make a statement’ wrapped from head to toe in capes, maxi skirts and baggy, high-necked blouses simply because Vogue editors deem it ‘hot’.

Given a choice, normal blokes want women to look pretty. The only catwalk models they look at strutting their stuff is for Victoria’s Secret underwear.

Try showing your husband/partner a picture of an edgy, editorial model weighing six stone with orange eye-shadow and blue lipstick wearing a gown made out of tyres and the feathers of new-born chicks and his look of puzzlement is profound.

“What’s that meant to be?’’ they say.

“High-end couture,’’ you answer. “Are you blind?’’

“Probably,’’ he says, trying to drag his eyeballs from the front of the Daily Star.

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