Last updated 15:59, Wednesday, 28 May 2008

I HAVE fought the urge to discuss the BBC programme, The Apprentice. However, since my desire to scream at the screen every week continues and the female contestants make me want to leap into the box and slap them, I can hold my tongue no longer.

It has surely been the greatest selection of contestants ever to grace a reality show.

It is remarkable to my female colleagues (and me) that there are still women out there who believe acting aggressively, cheating and back-stabbing is the only way to get ahead.

My favourite line throughout the series is: “We are not here to make friends,’’ as if being a decent, likeable human being is something to despise.

There also seems to be some confusion that being ambitious, determined, quick-witted and smart means you then had to leave your humanity behind and turn into Cruella de Vil or Mr Burns from The Simpsons.

I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed a programme as much as the episode where contestants tried to sell cheap wedding dresses and £600 cakes, with such a lack of charm and self-awareness.

I think the reason the programme is so engaging is that we have all met someone who operates as if they are rehearsing for the next series.

Despite the fact The Apprentice has had us condemning the worst aspects of human nature, there will always be those who believe this is the ideal template for the workplace.

If only, when faced with these horrible people in real life, we could hide behind the magnificent Margaret Mountford (a champion against troublesome idiots everywhere) and her raised eyebrows...